


Dave The Angry Bear

by yourebrilliant



Category: Glee
Genre: Crack, F/F, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2012-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 09:43:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/596275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourebrilliant/pseuds/yourebrilliant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In his senior year, Kurt Hummel wrote a popular and controversial children's story called Dave The Angry Bear. This is that story...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dave The Angry Bear

Once upon a time, in the great state of Ohio, there was a rich and lustrous wood, called McKinley Wood.  Lots of animals lived in McKinley Wood, and one of those animals was a big brown bear, named Dave.

When Dave was a cub he was a very friendly bear and everyone liked him.  But Dave was older now, and different.  Dave was a very angry bear.

Lots of things made Dave angry, but what made him angriest of all were two little red pandas, named Kurt and Blaine.

Kurt wore a very shiny black top-hat and Blaine wore very smart pink sunglasses and Kurt and Blaine were the best of friends, and very much in love.

 

In the middle of McKinley Wood there was a clearing with a large pond, called Dalton Pond, where all the animals of McKinley Wood came to drink.

One day, on his way to Dalton Pond, Dave saw Kurt and Blaine holding paws as they walked to the pond.  Suddenly Dave felt very angry.  Stomping through the woods, he shoved Kurt out of the way.  ‘Freaks,’ he growled pushing Blaine as well, and stomped on.

‘There he goes again,’ Kurt murmured, struggling upright and brushing the dust from his fur.

‘I wonder why he keeps pushing us,’ Blaine mused, settling his pink sunglasses on his little red nose.

‘He’s a bear,’ Kurt retorted, returning his top hat to its jaunty angle.  ‘Who knows why they do anything.’  As he spoke, he looked over at Dave for a moment.  Suddenly he gasped and pressed his furry little paws to his furry little cheeks.  ‘Blaine!’ he cried.

‘Kurt?  Are you okay?’  Blaine asked, covering one of Kurt’s furry little paws with his own.

‘I know why Dave is angry!’ Kurt said.  Kurt grasped Blaine’s paw and the two little red pandas scurried after the big angry bear.

 

‘Dave,’ Kurt said, stopping next to Dave at the pond’s edge.

‘Oh, what do you two want, I’m trying to drink here,’ Dave growled angrily.

Kurt looked at Blaine, and Blaine squeezed Kurt’s paw and mouthed “Courage”. 

Kurt nodded.  ‘I know why you’re angry, Dave,’ Kurt said.

‘Me too,’ Dave growled.  ‘It’s ‘cause I keep seein’ you two holdin’ paws all the time.’

‘Why should that make you angry?’ Kurt asked, his black button eyes bright as he watched Dave.

‘Because you’re _boys_ ,’ Dave growled.  ‘Boy animals don’t hold paws with other boy animals.’

‘Well, obviously, sometimes they do,’ Kurt said, looking down at his and Blaine’s paws.  ‘And that’s okay, Dave,’ Kurt said intensely.  ‘It’s okay for boy red pandas to want to hold paws with other boy red pandas, and it’s okay for boy bears to want to hold paws with other boy bears.’  He looked pointedly at Dave.

Dave frowned at Kurt for a moment.  Suddenly he growled and swept Kurt and Blaine to one side.  ‘Stay away from me,’ he muttered, and left.

 

As Dave was stomping back into the woods, a sleek black cat dropped onto a boulder next to him and settled herself.  ‘Wait,’ the cat said lazily, as Dave moved to carry on stomping.  ‘We want to talk to you.’

‘We?’ Dave asked.  Suddenly a soft cream cat dropped onto the boulder next to the black cat.

‘Brittany.  Santana,’ the black cat said, gesturing to the cream cat and then to herself.  ‘We saw you _talking_ to our friends, so we thought maybe _we_ should have a little chat with you too.’ 

‘What you should do is get better friends,’ Dave muttered, trying to leave again.

‘Wait,’ Santana repeated.  ‘Why would we want to do that?’ she asked.  ‘We’re _very_ fond of the ones we’ve got.’  Santana eyed Dave meaningfully, extended the claws of one paw and scratched pointedly at the boulder.

‘Because it’s not right!’ Dave cried, frustrated.

‘Don’t be mean to Dave,’ Brittany said softly.  ‘He’s scared and confused.’

‘What?’ Dave said, shocked.  ‘No, I’m not, I’m angry!’

‘No,’ Brittany said, tilting her head, ‘you’re definitely scared and confused.  Because you want to hold paws with boy bears and you think you aren’t supposed to and that’s just stupid-’

‘Who’re you calling stupid?’ Dave growled, leaning closer to the cats.  Santana hissed, and Dave lunged backwards, but Brittany rubbed her head against Santana’s, and Santana settled down again.

‘Sometimes boy animals hold paws with boy animals and sometimes boy animals hold paws with girl animals.  And _sometimes_ girl animals hold paws with girl animals.’  Brittany smiled at Santana and rested her soft cream paw over Santana’s sleek black paw.  The two cats gently butted heads, before Brittany looked back at Dave.   ‘You need to accept that and stop pushing other animals around.’

‘I don’t need to accept nothin’.  You got this all wrong, cats,’ Dave growled.

‘Actually, I’m a unicorn,’ Brittany corrected.

‘And we’re _never_ wrong,’ Santana said, confidently.  ‘You want to hold paws with boy bears, it’s totally obvious-’

‘No it’s not!’

‘and it’s _fine_.’  Dave stared at Santana.  ‘Seriously,’ she said, ‘it doesn’t matter, as long as you’re happy.’

‘Really?’ Dave asked quietly.  ‘It’s really okay?’  Santana nodded.  Dave looked at Brittany.  Brittany nodded.  Dave slumped against a tree.  ‘I thought there was something _wrong_ with me,’ he murmured.

‘That’s ‘cause you need better friends,’ Santana muttered sharply.

‘I think we can help with that,’ Kurt called, from behind them.

‘As long as you promise not to push us anymore,’ Blaine added.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Dave said, putting one bear paw on Kurt’s shoulder and one bear paw on Blaine’s shoulder.  ‘I’m _so_ sorry for what I did to you.’

‘I know,’ Kurt said.  ‘And now that we’re friends, Blaine and I are going to find you absolutely _the_ best boy bear to hold paws with.  It’ll be excellent.’

‘Kurt loves a project,’ Blaine told Dave.  Kurt nodded emphatically.

Dave gave a big bear laugh and pulled the little red pandas into a big bear hug.


End file.
